Sunday, 4 May 2008

Decision Made

At six miles into my run this morning, I made my decision.  It went like this...
Mary, you have just run 6 miles.  You have another 11 to go.  Do you even want to do this?  You want to run a marathon, but at what price?  You COULD run the 4 miles back to the car and call 10 miles a good run.  A good run if you are training for a half-marathon - not a full one.  Then, on your Sunday afternoon, you COULD have your kids over for dinner.  You COULD get your homework done for Biblical School and get ready for work tomorrow.  Or, you could run 17 miles and go home and lay on the sofa.  

So, here is what it came down to for me today:
Do I want to run with grim determination?
Or do I want to run with JOY?

The answer is JOY.  I am going to run a half-marathon in Anchorage on June 21.  I have an awesome vacation planned and I am going to enjoy it.  When I look at the counter in my sidebar now, I am going to think - woo! hoo!  ONLY XX days until vacation!  I am not going to think "oh shit, I ONLY have XX days left to get ready to run a marathon.  

I will likely get some crap from people for this, but ultimately, it is the woman in the mirror I most need to reconcile with.  This training was feeling horrible.  I feel lighter already.  And, the last four miles I ran today, I REALLY ENJOYED.  I haven't enjoyed running for a while now.  This is good.

10 comments:

Lisa - Slow & Steady said...

No crap from me. I fully support your decision.

Run for JOY. Life is short. Spend it doing what you want. And smile. And stop and smell the roses if you want to. I certainly would. :)

Chad in the Arizona Desert said...

None of us are going to be cashing a paycheck from our running anytime soon. You have to decide what works best for you. Better to decide now that you don't want to go through the training than to force it and have a miserable race experience.

Joe said...

This is a fine decsion, Mary...I think a wise one too. You get to enjoy a really cool vacation...you get to look forward to it...you enjoy what you are doing. Done...good decision!

FWIW, I had a comparable experience in January. I had planned to run the St Louis Marathon in early April. I looked at my knee, my miles base, the weather...and said no. Ain't gonna happen. I shifted instead to this series of HMs I'm in now, which has turned out to be Really Fun...with joy.

Yes, this is a good call. You needn't worry about others...you made a wise choice. Enjoy it...enjoy the running.

I'm happy for you!!!

Marcy said...

No beef from me :-) It's YOUR time to do what YOU want ;D Lisa is right, sometimes you gotta slow down and smell the roses. There will be other chances to run a marathon :-)

Running Knitter said...

Good for you! Only you can make that decision. I think you will enjoy running more now because of it.

Michelle said...

I won't give you any crap, either.

I just did my first HM and really enjoyed it (despite the fact I got injured and ended up with some stitches). But I finished and it was such a good time. I think the HM distance is awesome because it's still a challenge but it won't make you super-miserable like a marathon can.

I think having fun is the most important thing!!

Kevin said...

Nope, no crap here. You really need to be committed to train for a marathon. Its better to train for the half ans actually enjoy yourself rather then being miserable training for something you really dont feel like doing

ws said...

last I checked so long as you are happy and comfortable with your decision that is all that matters. and I can't wait to hear about your Alaskan adventures.

Jess said...

Good for you. Wise choice.

J~Mom said...

I "hear" Mary smiling again and THAT is what matters!! Proud of you for making that decision!