The five most dangerous words in the English language

Maybe It Will Go Away.

I looked back at this blog and my other blog and I have been complaining of hip pain since February.  Did I go to the doctor then?  No.  Why not?  Because I was afraid he would tell me to stop running.

I was in desperate pain today, enough pain to go to the doctor.  And what did he tell me?  To stop running until I get the pain calmed down.  I have sciatica.  I am scheduled for the first open appointment they had at physical therapy - May 21.  

My doc was hopeful that I can get it under control in time for the race.  Then we talked about races, I told him my reasons for going to Anchorage.... sea level, and an 8 hour time limit.  He liked that idea himself and said he might train for a marathon.  He said the farthest he has ever run was 15k.  I, of course, encouraged him to go for it.  

So the Colfax is definitely out.  I might just volunteer at the race - that way I could still meet Jess!  I will try to get in the pool at least to keep a certain level of fitness going.... then I hope to be able to run in a week and a half.  Sheesh.  I think I will still be able to run a half on June 21.  

Windy Day

I attempted to run 10K on the 10th today.  The wind was blowing so hard, I lost my hat at one point, and then had to hold it the rest of the time.  So I managed to run 5.4 miles.  

I got to watch as a cloud came over a mountain, and then I could see that some sort of precip was coming out of the cloud.  Sure enough, within minutes it was SNOWING on me.  SNOWING.  

May 10 + Snow = Colorado.  

Now I am limping along with incredible pain that I think is from my sciatic nerve.  It runs all the way from my left hip to my left ankle.  And it hurts worse when I sit down.  

Sorry to be such a complainer.   The former chaplain where I work used to talk to me about  "the therapeutic value of kvetching."  Not sure anyone wants to read about it.  

Still haven't heard whether I have next Sunday free to run the Colfax half marathon.  

What about the Colfax?

I am thinking about running the Colfax (half) Marathon next weekend.  I really enjoyed it last year - it was my first ever half marathon.  I was intending to run 13.1 next Sunday anyway...  hmmm.  I will mull this one over.

I didn't run at all this week!  Holy Crap!  There was all kinds of crazy stuff going on at work, and I had to be there early every day and work late.  Tonight I loaded up my car with all kinds of stuff and my work laptop, and I am intending to work from home this weekend.

Well, and celebrate Mother's Day with my kids and grandkids.  Take one run of probably 6 or 7 miles, clean the house, study for my final exam of the year at Biblical School, do lawn maintenance, oh, and RELAX!  

I want to run the Colfax Half.  hmmmmm.....

Last Chance!

I just got an e-mail notifying me that it is my LAST CHANCE! to get photos from last May's Colfax (half) Marathon. There was one half decent picture of me, but I didn't buy it.

The one I really like is above. Here I am, laboring with all I have in me, still coming in behind the guy with the wife-beater who is not even moving!!! How cool is that!

I probably sound sarcastic, but I really do think it is high-lar-i-ous.

I will run again some day. The big deal at work ended today at noon. Things will calm down for a day or two. And I will again hit the pavement.

Goonie in her office

Here's a picture of me, sitting at my desk, in my office... prettttttty.

I haven't run all week.
but I have actually wanted to. Which is good.

It has been a crazy week at work - I have had to be there early every day.

Decision Made

At six miles into my run this morning, I made my decision.  It went like this...

Mary, you have just run 6 miles.  You have another 11 to go.  Do you even want to do this?  You want to run a marathon, but at what price?  You COULD run the 4 miles back to the car and call 10 miles a good run.  A good run if you are training for a half-marathon - not a full one.  Then, on your Sunday afternoon, you COULD have your kids over for dinner.  You COULD get your homework done for Biblical School and get ready for work tomorrow.  Or, you could run 17 miles and go home and lay on the sofa.  

So, here is what it came down to for me today:

Do I want to run with grim determination?

Or do I want to run with JOY?

The answer is JOY.  I am going to run a half-marathon in Anchorage on June 21.  I have an awesome vacation planned and I am going to enjoy it.  When I look at the counter in my sidebar now, I am going to think - woo! hoo!  ONLY XX days until vacation!  I am not going to think "oh shit, I ONLY have XX days left to get ready to run a marathon.  

I will likely get some crap from people for this, but ultimately, it is the woman in the mirror I most need to reconcile with.  This training was feeling horrible.  I feel lighter already.  And, the last four miles I ran today, I REALLY ENJOYED.  I haven't enjoyed running for a while now.  This is good.

Friday Night Thinking...

I thought I would include pretty pictures of my bruise and scars.  (and you can see the impressions of the lovely knee-high fishnets I had on all day today.)  

I went shopping after work tonight - for some furniture and some other stuff at REI.  Then I went to the running store to get some shoes, but they were closed.  So I will go tomorrow.

I did not run all week.  I am scheduled for a 17 mile run this weekend. I guess I will wait until Sunday.  I think this is the "do or die" run for my marathon training.  If I can't do it, I am going to plan on running the half marathon in Anchorage.  If I can run it, I guess I will know that I should continue with my training for a full marathon.  Right now I am plagued with doubts and aches and pains.  

I look at the counter on my side-bar and think - this should be something I am looking forward to, not dreading.  But every time I see how few days are left, I just feel so much pressure.  I don't know how I can be ready for a marathon in 50 some days.  

I got an e-mail from my marathon mentor this week.  It was meant to motivate me I am sure.  It had just the opposite effect.  She said she heard I was having doubts and she said "shame on you." and that people in MUCH worse shape than I finish marathons.  Great.  

I will go out this weekend and do my level best to run 17 miles.  Some of you say that discouragement is typical half way through the training... I hope that is all this is.  

Thanks for your encouragement and understanding.