Wednesday, 10 October 2007

Proportion

I have lost all sense of proportion - and I need to get it back, quick!

I went to see the workers' compensation doctor this morning. My foot is sprained. He advised me not to run a half-marathon on Sunday. When I started crying, he was surprised, to put it mildly. He told me I could do another one after my foot is healed. I cried and whined and told him it is so hard to train for a half-marathon, I don't ever want to do it again. The race is the reward for all of the hard work. No one but a runner would understand this. He looked at me like I was NUTS. He asked how much it cost to register - oh, not much, only $75. and months of running in the heat, in the rain, in the cold mornings, in the mud, and when I don't feel like it, when I have a headache and I am tired, and when I should be cleaning my house, or spending time with my family... that's all.

In other words - WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He finally said "Okay, if on Saturday it doesn't hurt AT ALL, try running around your block and if it doesn't hurt AT ALL, maybe, just maybe try running the half-marathon." But he still didn't think it was a good idea.
So I came back to work, ate the nutritious lunch that I packed for myself - and then I went and purchased a bag of vanilla creme cookies and a bag of chex vanilla strawberry yogurt evilness. And then I came back to my office and ate the entire two bags of crap (sorry to borrow your word Marcy.)
I called one of my friends to complain and he said "There's a war in Iraq." Like I don't know that! He was trying to suggest to me that there MAY be more important things in the world than if I get to run this race. I am just not there yet. In time, my sense of proportion will return, won't it?

9 comments:

J~mom said...

Yes it will. Right now your heart is heavy and worried though. Of course there are much worse things happening in the world but remember God has the hairs on your head numbered and he does care about even the smallest things. ((((HUGS))))

Lisa - Slow & Steady said...

Oooh. Bummer!!

I do understand your sense of loss and frustration over this. I do hope you can run/walk it and don't have to pass it by. But if you have to DNS, you're not crazy to feel bummed out about it. And in time, you'll see the bigger picture and be able to put this in proportion again.

Hang in there!!

Marcy said...

(((((HUGS))))) Mary!! Ohhhh I completely understand. Although I had a bit more time to recover from the sadness before the actual HM I was supposed to run took place. And I absolutely agree with Lisa (S&S) you WILL see the bigger picture eventually :-)

Randy said...

If it's Gods will He will allow you to participate in the race on Sunday. Notice I said "participate"...so you may want to heed Lisa S&S for her mention of the run/walk...even if you have to try a one minute run/1 minute walk...or some variation. Don't feel like you have to go out and kill yourself.....yes there will be other races......yes you CAN train for them....your perserverance is what got you this far, got you out on the days it was so hot...on the rain days, in the cold, when you were more worried about your son, the exercise...running...biking...swimming is there for a reason...God put those tools in your hands for a reason....don't throw them away because of this test...don't see this is a setback....you are so much stronger than those two bags of "crap" as you put it.....now pull up your big girl panties and treat your ankle with the respect that it deserves to get better so it will function properly for you on Sunday......and oh what a race report you will have for us!!!!!

Debbi said...

What they all said … I can certainly understand your frustration and disappointment. But it's not like the training hurt you or was bad for you. That which doesn't kill us makes us stronger … right? RICE it, test it and I think the run/walk strategy is a good one.

Wes said...

Things that are important are important. That's good enough for me. But, yes, having the big perspective is also important. That whole seeing the forest for the trees thing.

And I have the trade mark on the word "crap". Marcy just borrows it :-)

Jess said...

That's awful! Sometimes only other runners can understand how much gets invested in these races and how disappointing it can be for soemthing to derail the dream of finishing.

And yes, there are worse things, but that doesn't necessarily trivialize what you're experiencing. Still, in a few days or weeks, you'll feel better. Up for the Boulder Bolder? I have been thinking of that for Memorial Day weekend and would love a blogger partner!

ws said...

First off, I hope your foot is feeling a little better today.

I can understand your frustration, but this was in an article in the NY Times today regarding people that should not participate in a race. I know it is no consolation, but it is worth remembering: “You’ve trained, you’ve paid that huge hotel and air bill, you’ve got your friends back home you want to talk to and say ‘I ran the race,’ But your training has never gone to waste, it’s maintaining your fitness for the next banana.”

Chad in the Arizona Desert said...

As far as the race goes, the best thing to do, both mentally and physically is to plan on going to do the race but know that you have an injury. You go easy and go as long as you can but you listen to your body. If your body starts telling you that bad things are happening, then stop. But at least give yourself the chance to find out. Remember, all runners deal with injury disappointments at some point in their running. The race is a present to yourself, but it's the journey and the training that is really what it's all about.

As for your "friend's" comment...what the hell does that have to do with anything. As if you asking for a little sympathy from him is going to be the tipping point as to whether or not the troups are going to come home or not. Some people spend way too much time worrying about things that they have absolutely zero control over. At least you are worried about something that you actually have some control over. Personally, I think you need to tell your friend to grow up...but that's just me.