Progress Report

I gave myself a goal of losing 15 pounds before I would post anything on this blog again.

And I did it! Woo! Hoo!

I can actually live at this weight.

I will continue on my food plan (Eat Clean Diet - thank you Tosca Reno!) and hope to lose more weight, but I feel FREAKING AWESOME right now.

After getting a freak October snowstorm where I had over 2 feet of snow at my house, I decided that I just needed to purchase myself a treadmill so that no matter what I could get a work out in.

So, I got a treadmill. It is awesome to get up early in the morning and hit the treadmill wearing freaky clothes, sweating like a nut, panting as I am going too fast for comfort, and doing all this before it is even light outside! Very good purchase.

Last week's mileage was 13.1 miles. I thought it was a wonderful coincidence that I did a half-marathon. I certainly didn't mean to. My run yesterday was 5 miles. I think it was a bit too ambitious with hills. I think I will go back to flatter long runs. I have added hills into my 3 mile runs, and that is OK. But I am still not feeling that strong, so I think I will cut myself some slack on the long runs for a while.

Here is my plan...

• For the remainder of 2009 - lose another 10 lbs.
• Build my base mileage - get at least up to being able to do a comfortable 10K
• Register for the "winter race series" - 3 races, 1 in Dec., 1 in Jan., 1 in Feb.
• Run a half marathon in Spring - hopefully in an exotic and fun location - suggestions?
• Run a Real, Live, 26.2 mile Marathon in the fall, leaning towards Richmond - suggestions?

That's my plan. Hope I can do it.

(People advertising diets are advised to go elsewhere, I will delete your comments. Thank you.)

Thanks and Thinking

About races...

I am about as excited as I have been in years. You want to know the truth about what I think happened? Last Tuesday morning I woke up with my second migraine of that week. I had two the week before that too. Probably two the week before that too. I have been just suffering terribly with them. Horrible, horrible. Last Tuesday, I called my doctor, literally crying, and told him I had to find something to PREVENT them, not just treat them. I had read about Topamax as a migraine prevention medication - and asked him about it. We tried it.

It has now been 10 days without a migraine headache! I cannot describe to you what this is like. I want to cry just writing this. I feel like a new woman. I am waking up in the morning with energy and the ability to get out of bed and do things. At night I feel like I can plan to get out of bed in the morning and go running or swimming or whatever activity I have planned. It feels like the most amazing freedom. I feel like my life has been given back to me. Thank you Dr. Yang and Thank you Topamax.

Now, on to races.... Wes suggested Donna's 26.2 in Jacksonville in February. That is only 22 weeks away. Not real sure I can get ready for a marathon in 22 weeks. Richmond is still out there in November and it sounds like a good one. My sister suggested I come out to East Hampton, NY and do their marathon in September, but it is too small for a person as slow as I am - I would likely come in last and having once had that experience, I would not care to repeat it. These are the ones I have seriously looked into so far. I will look into more over the weekend. Keep the suggestions coming if you have any...

I ran 4 miles this morning. YAY!

I swam 1/2 mile yesterday morning. YAY!

I am back on track! YAY!

Thank you for your help and thank you for coming by when I haven't posted anything for so long!

Back to it...

Pretty much from square one. That's OK.

I haven't been running much at all. I had my two triathlons over the summer. They were good. The Tri for the Cure was awesome, as it is every year. My performance was off - I hadn't really trained - which can kind of put a crimp in your performance! But I still had fun.

Now I need to figure out what the heck I am doing. I have gained weight - no surprise there. I have lost fitness. NO surprise there either. But I am not too far gone to get it back. It will take a while, but I know I can do it.

So, I called a friend who is a personal trainer and asked her if she could help me. She assure me that she could - we haven't gotten together yet, but we will.

I have done some soul searching and have realized that I am blessed with a passion for running. I know I complain about it when I am training for a race, but I really love to run. I feel most happy when I have a huge race in my future. I need to get back to this core of my person.

I have wanted to run a marathon since I was 29 years old. That was 1977 folks. That is a long time. I am going to try to first get in shape, and then train for a marathon. I am looking for a race in fall 2010. Maybe Richmond?

Any suggestions for a first time marathon? It has to have over a 6 hour limit. Sorry, but I have never gotten under 3 hours for a half marathon, so I don't think I will try to do a marathon in under 6 hours. Oh, and it should be flat, friendly, and at sea level.

My little first step towards my goal was a 2 mile run on the treadmill this morning. See? I said I was starting all over again...

Long Time Without Update

I was hesitant to post about my triathlon. I will NEVER do another tri where I need a wetsuit. I was OK, but I had to stop to flag down help for two different women at two different times who needed to be pulled out of the water. I hate to talk about that because I would hate for anyone who never did a tri to think that is normal - it isn't. My time for the race was really bad. I spent about 15 extra minutes in the water and didn't do much better on the bike portion.

Anyway - I have another tri this weekend. The weather here has absolutely been terrible - like as in cold and rainy and stormy, haily, windy, cold watery. I am not adequately trained, but I will just take it slow.

Here we go again with my annual decision that I really like long distance running. When I am doing long distance running, I long to train for a triathlon... but I think I am done with the bike.

I went over the handlebars (again) in May. I didn't break anything this time, but it freaked me out just the same. It is the second time I have done that. The last time was 4 years ago, and I broke a rib.

Maybe I just have to concede that I really am old?

Although a friend at work yesterday told me that she asked a couple of our co-workers how old they thought I was. One answered 40! The other thought maybe my late 40's, 50 tops. Wow. I am 57 and a half.

I am just grateful that these are my concerns. It is a good deal for a person my age.

wetsuit help!?!?!

About three weeks ago, I impulsively signed up for a triathlon at the end of June - which is now next weekend.  June 28.  I thought, no big deal, I have done this tri before - and I do a tri every summer, I will just add one.  I won't be quick, but I can do it and it will be fun.  Besides, the Danskin has better shirts than the Tri  for the Cure.

What I didn't count on was the fact that it has yet to be warm here.  Therefore, the water temperature of the Aurora Reservoir (where the race is held) is 64º.  I called and asked them if there is any way it could warm up  by next weekend, and was told that even if it got up to 90º every day between now and then and never rained once, it MIGHT get up to 68º.  

I have never used a wetsuit to swim before and never wanted to, but I realized then that I needed a wetsuit.  So, I rented one from my favorite running store in the Universe - Runner's Roost Lakewood.    I was very happy to  see that I could find one to fit and it wasn't even the largest women's size they had.  I feel not overwhelmed with confidence in my body right now, so I was dreading the trying on of wetsuits - even more than swim suits.  

Anyway, thanks to my friends at Runners Roost Lakewood, I have this great wetsuit to wear and so I went out to try it out last night.

HELP!  How do you get used to swimming when you feel like your chest is being compressed and your neck is being strangled?  It took everything I had not to panic during my first lap.  I did manage not to panic, but I didn't swim very well.  The buoyancy is great, but it makes the breast stroke impossible - because my legs just float right up to the surface, making the kick impossible and kind of tipping my upper body down.  Yikes.  I will have to freestyle the whole thing- which I can usually do, but I always know I have the breast stroke in case I get tired or freaked out.  

I have no time to get used to anything.  

I am freaking out.

Has anyone done the swim portion of a tri in a wetsuit? Any tips?

Happy Running Girl

I have been running and it sure makes me a happy girl. 

I have a triathlon in August.  

I have a half-marathon in September.

I am thinking I am going to have a half-marathon in January - in Maui!!!!!

I have not yet taken the huge step of booking my trip, but I think I am going to.  Soon.

I am so happy to be feeling like myself again.  It has been the longest winter of my life.

What a month or two it has been!

Holy Cow!

I was running in April, then I got stricken with a series of migraines.  Like debilitating migraines where you go home and pray it will go away.  I took maybe 3 or 4 dosages of migraine medication, which is pretty hard on the body.

On April 16, I experienced chest pain and shortness of breath.  I called the doc and they told me to go straight to the ER (actually they wanted to send an ambulance, but since I work at a hospital, I thought that would be incredibly embarrassing).  They kept me for 6 hours in the ER and did all kinds of crazy tests, among them a PET scan.  They said that I did NOT have a heart attack but that I needed to go see my doctor at the first available appointment.  

That weekend, I got to ponder this and I was sure I was old and dying.  It was awful.  On the next Monday, I went to my doc, who felt that I was in good shape and it was unlikely that I had heart disease - more likely I had an adverse drug reaction to the migraine medication.  But we scheduled a stress test.  Well, I didn't know a woman my age was supposed to quit 5 minutes into the deal!  No one told me!  So, I went for 12 minutes, which is off the chart for a 57 year old.

Using my blood pressure and my cholesterol, They calculated my risk of developing heart disease in the next 10 years as 1%.  One Percent.  That made me feel very very good.

Then I started running again....

Last week, I developed a horrible toothache.  And the worst part was, it wasn't actually my tooth that hurt.  It was a gum infection, which was horribly painful.  I  took antibiotics for 5 days and that went away...

Then I started running again....

Now I am feeling good.  I ran this morning.  I am going to ride my bike to work tomorrow.  I am a happy girl about this.

I am looking into half marathons to do in January. ... still have Maui on my mind.  

Has anyone done a race in Hawaii?  Any advice?  

Wardrobe Malfunction

This morning I did finally run.  I opted not to run outside since it was still in the 20ºs.  So I went to the gym.  I have not been a member of this gym for long (24 hour fitness), I was a member of Bally's for years.  But in January, I got a membership to 24º fitness.  

This morning, as I was running, and feeling pretty good, I noticed that I felt a bit more "bounce" than usual.  I looked down and realized that one of my bra straps was unattached to the front of the bra - see above, the bra straps loop around the front and then velcro back up.  I have worn this bra for a while and have loved it - so I was shocked to see this happen!  

I decided I could pause the treadmill and discretely reattach my bra strap.  HA!  I fumbled, and fumbled, and fumbled.  Finally, I thought I had it somewhat reattached and could resume my workout... but as soon as I did, it freed itself.  I paused the treadmill again and tried again.  It was at this time that I decided to scan my environment and realized that to my left there was an entire glass walled spinning class - facing me!  Yeah!

So, my unrestrained Double D was not to be restrained this morning.  I finished a mile and left the gym.  

Despite that rather unfortunate incident, it is a good start.  I will run more tomorrow.  But at least today I got out and did something!  And probably gave a few people something to talk about today.  (and sorry to any male readers, I am sure this is not exactly scintillating reading!)

Mileage

I just added up my March mileage.  It was the least number of miles I have run in one month for at least 2 years.  I can only find my records from 2007 and 2008 at this moment.  

In 2007, I averaged 54 miles per month.  In 2008, it was 34 miles per month.  This year so far? 16 miles per month.  Oh dear.

This has got to change.  

Soon.

Really.

Monday.

1000 miles

I logged my 1000th mile with my Nike+ iPod and got a cool certificate and the opportunity to order this fabulous t-shirt!  Who doesn't need a pink cotton t-shirt for 30 some dollars once you add in shipping?

This is even with the year or more between sensors where I didn't log any miles at all.  

I worked many hours last week - too many to count.  I work at a hospital.  The Joint Commission came for our triennial survey... if you don't know what this means, I will never be able to tell you, but if you have ever worked in a hospital, you know.  This is my job.  This is the reason for the existence of my job.  So, I love to do this, but man, am I tired!

Now I can get back to a regular schedule and get some running done.  And the snow will eventually melt and the sun will shine and the flowers will blossom.  

How great is that?

I'm Alive!!!

The lovely POM Blogger sent me a case of this tang-tastic beverage.  I love it!  I poured it over a stemmed glass full of ice, and it was a yummy little snack.  The fact that it is chock full of antioxidants and other health benefits is a big bonus!  I am really looking forward to seeing erectile improvement!  Just kidding - I am a girl... a single girl... oh well.  :(

And I am back to running.  And just in case you thought I wasn't really a runner, I posted a picture of my feet.  I have lost 2 toenails (the second toes) since January.  Do you see the blackness at the base of the right big toe?  That means I am going to lose that one too, just in time for sandal season.   I know, I know, I need a pedicure... but I wanted to take the picture before I disguise the damage.  

Oh!  And see that lovely floor beneath my feet?  My new bamboo flooring.  It is nice, and I really like it.  

I ran a 5 mile race in February.  It was really a good experience for me.  I hadn't trained at all, and was not at all injured, so I was able to really run for 5 miles.  Now I know that 13 minute miles would not be considered "running" for most people, but for me, it is running.  It was really a great experience.  

I threw in the towel on ever getting outside and running.  Just when I thought it might happen again, some brilliant person decided to make it daylight saving time in the middle of the damn winter!  I am getting to work when it is still dark.  So - I have made the trek to the gym to get on the treadmill.  Now, I don't really love running on the treadmill, but when you haven't done it for a while, it isn't so bad.  I can really crank up the music and just zone out on it - without looking for cars, potholes, dogs, and weirdos.  

I am hopeful for spring to arrive and excitement to build about my triathlon and other races.  

Snowman Stampede

I took a picture of the chip from the race I ran this morning.

I RAN 5 frosty miles at the Snowman Stampede race.  It was fun.  

I registered on Wednesday when the weather forecast said it would be 60º today.  I got up this morning and it was 2º.  By race time, it was in the 20s, so I could bear that.  It was a good race, and I feel really happy about how I did.  For one thing, I did not come in last!  

This race had the cutest shirt.  I am too lazy to take a picture of it now, maybe I will do that later this weekend.

I am feeling encouraged and happy about running again.

Ix-Nay the awaii-Hay ip-Tray

Yes, I am indeed bilingual... I speak pig latin.  

I have been going over and over in my head this idea of a trip to Hawaii.  This morning I woke up in my bedroom (well, of course I did) and looked at my crappy drapes and thought - I really need to replace those things.  Then I thought about the drapes in the other bedroom upstairs, and they really need to match.  Then I thought about the new bookcases I need when I get my new floors installed.

And then I thought about things like credit card balances...

And then I thought - I am not going to Hawaii.  That is just the height of craziness.

So I will keep my  original race goals.  Two triathlons and one half marathon.  All local.  

I am going to plan a trip to the beautiful mountains in Colorado later this summer.  I have a friend (wink wink) in a mountain town who would love for me to come and visit him.  He is on the way to one of my dearest friends who moved to western Colorado three years ago.  I will go visit them.

So, I went to Pottery Barn this afternoon and got new drapes, rods, and sheers for two windows.  Holy Crap!  That was expensive!

Oh, and I actually RAN 3.1 MILES yesterday!  The first run in the entire month of February.  It felt good.  

Dreaming Again...

Yesterday at work in a hospital-wide meeting, three representatives from HR dropped in to tell us about potential lay-offs and our rights should that occur.  They said it was unlikely, but I am thinking the two top people in the department would not have come to the meeting if it were really and truly unlikely.  Only time will tell...

So, as everyone went back to their work areas and offices to ponder life without a job, I went back to my office and started planning a trip to Hawaii.  And why go somewhere without a race being involved?

I have been to 49 states.  The only one I have not visited is Hawaii.  I really want to go there.

The Kona Marathon is on June 28.  The headquarter hotel's rate is $130 per night.  It looks awesome.  The race starts and ends at the hotel.  

The race is apparently hard,  hilly and hot.  I had considered trying to run the full 26.2, but probably this isn't the good choice for a first and probably only in my lifetime marathon.  

But I could still do a half.

Has anyone done this race?

Is there any hope for me?  I hardly even trained for P.F. Chang's and swore it would be my last long distance event... but I had so much fun, it really left me wanting to do more races.  

My cold is about 80% gone, and I can go out and run tomorrow (if we don't get too much snow).  I am totally uninjured at this point since I have run only once since January 18.  

I want to go to Hawaii!    Any thoughts?

OK, I lied...

On Monday my chest started hurting, by Tuesday my head, throat and sinuses hurt.  By Wednesday, it was a full blown cold.  By Thursday I was in bed all day.  By Friday I thought I was on the mend.  Yesterday I thought by today I would be fully recovered.  

However, I am heading back to bed.

I hope to God that I will get back to feeling like a human being and get back to training soon.

Last night at a social event, I spoke for a long time to a man who is training for Boston.  Wow.  It made me want to go out and run!  By next week?  I hope.

I am so excited about my tris.  They will be my 6th and 7th triathlons.  I really need to try more than a sprint sometime...

But first, I must get rid of this cold.

Commitment

I am going to make several commitments here.  I am just putting them here because I feel accountable for doing what I say I am going to do if I post it here.  So here goes:

• I started training today for my first triathlon of the year (June 28)
• I am going to actually do what is recommended as far as training...
• like, doing what I HATE - weight training
• And strengthening my core
• I am going to follow a plan that was posted on the Tri for the Cure website
• Today I started a new food plan
• I have been eating like the last days of Rome ever since I finished P.F. Chang's.
• That has to end, and it has to end now.
• I am planning on 2 triathlons this summer - the Danskin and the Tri for the Cure.
• I am tentatively planning on a half-marathon in September (Boulder Backroads)
• I am going to post here at least 2 times a week because you guys motivate and entertain me!

OK.  That is my commitment.  Today I got my bike out for the first  time since August.  I forgot what it was like to pedal a bike up a big honkin hill - against the wind - in 35 degree weather.  It was cold.  And more of a work out than I remember.  

But it was beautiful to be outdoors on a sunny (albeit cold) Sunday morning.  

Post Race Take Home Points

I left for Arizona, not even thinking I was going to run a race.  The excitement of being in a place with thousands of runners motivated me to participate in a race that I was not adequately trained for.  And I had an absolutely fabulous time.  I would say it was the most fun race I have ever had.  It wasn't the best time-wise, but it was the best time I have had - if you know what I mean.   I am sore like I have never been after a race, but I am sure that is due to the fact that I wasn't properly trained.  

Meeting Lisa and her pals was so much fun!  Being with a group was an entirely different experience than going off to a race alone.  I realized that I really need to make my training and racing more of a social event.  I think it is highly motivational.  I didn't freak out prior to the race the way I normally do and I am sure that was due to the fact that I had other peeps around.  I also didn't cry as I crossed the finish line that way I normally do - and that was probably because I was focused on finding my group.  

I started that race thinking it was my last long-distance event.  But now, of course, I am thinking about my next one.  Silly me.  But I just enjoyed it so much!

I have two sprint tris to do this summer.  I am going to start training for them.  It will be great to get in the pool and on the bike.  I have talked a friend from work into doing one of the tris with me.  She has talked others into it, so I will have a group for the Tri for the Cure.  

Maybe I can do the Boulder Back Roads half marathon in September?  I wanted to do it so bad last year, but I wasn't trained.  It just sounds like the best race.

I am motivated again.  I just have to get my feet recovered.  I got some serious blisters!  I did drain them.  It was fascinatingly gross.  I described it today to an RN and even she thought it was gross.  

I wanted to write a lot more about the experience of the race, but it is now 7 p.m., and I HAVE to watch American Idol!

Rock 'n' Roll Half

I took pictures of my blisters to post here, but that is just gross!  Does anyone have any advice for someone who has hideous blisters on the balls of both of her feet?  I can barely walk!

That said, I had a wonderfully enjoyable race!  The race was well-organized (well, they can't help it if they have 40,000 people using porta-potties and run out of t.p.)  and super fun.  I knew that I wasn't adequately trained, and that the cold I had last week took a lot out of me, so I just decided to walk and run if I felt like it and not worry about my time.

I walked the whole thing.  And my time was 10 minutes faster than my last half-marathon (in Anchorage).  AND - I totally enjoyed myself!

I got to meet Lisa, Karen, Pat, and Eileen.  What fun people!  Taking the bus from Tempe to the start was such a fun little experience!  And waiting in line for the porta potties for an hour was also a bonding experience.  

It is such a joy for a girl from Colorado to get into the warmth and sunshine on a January morning.  I just thoroughly enjoyed myself.  But I do need to figure out what to do with these blisters.  I cannot imagine me walking through two airports, etc. tomorrow if I am not much better than this!

Any ideas?

Sunny Arizona changes everything!

I left Denver this morning thinking I was not going to run this race.  I have been sick for 10 days.... bla bla bla.  The plane was full of racers.  It was fun.  I told someone who worked for the airline that it must be a light load with all those skinny people! (well, except for me.)  He told me about a flight to a bowling championship - they had to split it up because of all the bowling balls!  (well, and bowlers aren't known to be stick thin).

So, then I got on the light rail to go to the expo.  Still sitting on the fence about this race.  When who would "fate" have get on the train and stand right next to me - but an 85 year old man who is walking the 26.2 on a fake knee!

Well, hell's bells!  I can walk & run my way through 13.1 miles.  Really.  I am not THAT sick.

I am so excited.  I bought a bunch of crap at the expo.  Gotta have a guitar shaped magnet for my fridge - and the shirt they gave me and the other one I bought isn't enough - I got yet another one.  And a hat!  So there!

I am psyched!

I am going to meet Lisa in a little bit!

What fun!

Thanks for all of your words of encouragement.

Oh, and it is really, really nice here.  

Plan the Plan...

But not the outcome.  

I spent 4 days sick in bed.  I got up yesterday and thought that maybe I was really on the mend.  Today I went to work and since I work in a hospital with a bunch of healthcare professionals, several of them took pity on me and told me to go home - I looked like I was about to fall over.  And felt somewhat worse than that.  

I seriously don't know if I can even walk a half marathon on Sunday.  

I will go to Phoenix because I paid for the trip.  I will go to the expo because I paid for the race - and I will gladly take whatever they give me.  

I will wake up on Sunday and make a decision as to whether I can attempt this race.

I am really disappointed.  But I have to say that all the way along with this race I have not trained the way I should have.  I have been so injured that I wondered if I could run it.   I have now not run for a week - and amazingly enough, I am now without pain.  But I have got the worst cold and feel like crap.  

I will just make the best of the trip - regardless of whether I can participate in the race or not.  

Wardrobe

Okay.  I slept all afternoon today to try to get rid of this cold.  I woke up and decided to go get my wardrobe figured out for this race.  

So, I looked up the weather forecast for Phoenix on Jan. 18 - it is supposed to get down in the 40s, and get up to 70º for the high.  Here is my plan:

• I will wear my running skirt - mainly because it has a couple of good sized pockets.
  
• I will wear my favorite green technical tee - mainly because it is my favorite.
  
• I will wear shoes and socks - I wish I could get some green smart wools.  I love my smart wools and will never wear anything else.
  
• I purchased some arm things so that my arms can be covered and then not covered when I need them to be naked.
  
• I will wear my green jacket and check it at the start- unless I am freezing at the start, and then I will wear it and tie it around my waist if needed.  
  

Any veterans of the race or residents of Arizona have feedback on this wardrobe plan?

Thanks!

Word

Your Word is "Hope"

You see life as an opportunity for learning, growth, and bringing out the best in others. No matter how bad things get, you always have at least a glimmer of optimism. You are accepting and forgiving. You encourage those who have wronged you to turn over a new leaf. And while there is a lot of ugliness in the world, you believe that almost no one is beyond redemption.

What's Your Word?

This was a lovely little test that I got from Chad.  I think it is quite apropos to my circumstance.  

You know, if I can get over myself, I can actually have a nice time in Phoenix next week.  If I am stuck on worrying about myself and my performance and my pride and ego, I am certain to have a miserable time.  This sounds like it would be an easy choice, and I guess the choice is easy, but the carrying it out is the tricky part.

I started running when I was 28 years old and had a 3 year old son and 1 year old twin girls.  I really HAD to run to get out of the house.  I got a neighbor to babysit for me each morning and I went out for my run.  I would spend the entire morning in my sweats because I loved my little color coordinated outfit so much.  I had a pair of grey sweat pants (yes, really), a blue leotard - for control - there was no such thing as a sports bra, so I wore the leotard over a normal bra.  I had a grey and maroon sweat shirt - I thought it was super cute - but it WAS the 70's.  I had a pair of gray and maroon Brooks shoes.  I wore those things until they wore out.  

When I was 30 years old, I got very sick.  No one could figure out what was wrong with me.  At that time, I was running 5 miles each morning.  I loved running.  I think I was still wearing the same shoes and sweats... but I was running.  I went to doctors and they sent me home with painkillers.  I knew I was dying.  After 2 days, my husband dragged me out of bed and to the hospital.  They cut me open from just above my navel to just above my pelvis - they didn't know what else to do- there were no such things as CT scans and MRIs back then.  They discovered that I had a ruptured appendix.  The doc told me I would have died within an hour if they hadn't opened me up... when he found out I was a runner, he told me that was probably the only thing that kept me from dying.  

But I stopped running while I was recovering and didn't start back up for quite a while.  After we moved to Denver and got divorced, I started running again.  I was in my mid-thirties.  I ran my first race in 1987.  I was 35 years old.  It was the Bolder Boulder 10K.  It is a huge race.  It was fun.  I had to go to the bathroom during the race, and had to wait in line for quite a while.  Imagine my surprise to see that my monthly visitor (sorry to be so cutesy, but I don't want to be too graphic) had decided to come during the race - totally unexpected, and I had on tiny little pink running shorts.  oh dear.  I made good use of toilet paper and finished my first race.

I participated in races for a while.  Never anything more than a 10K.    

As I approached my 40s, I decided I really needed to quit smoking!  So I did.  And gained weight.  I kept that weight on for a good while.  All of my 40s.  When I was approaching 50, I didn't want to face my 50th birthday as a fat lady, so I joined Weight Watchers (again) and lost 30 lbs.  I have, for the most part, kept that weight off for nearly 8 years now.  Right now I have 8 lbs of it back, and it has GOT to go - ASAP!  

In 2003, I had a heartbreaking end of an engagement.  I thought I was going to die.  So I went out and ran.  I had to walk up a nearby hill, and run down... for 5 minutes.  That was all I could do - 5 minutes, downhill.  After a while it became 10 minutes, and then I knew I could do a mile, and then a mile and a half, etc.  The most I ran was 3.1 miles until 2006... but I digress.

I decided I should do a triathlon in 2004 and I loved it!  I have done one every year since.  But running was my worst sport in the tri.  I LOVE biking the best, and I really enjoy swimming.

On New Years Day 2007, I was talking with a friend who also did the Tri's with me.  We decided we would run a half marathon in 2007.  I started training right away.  She decided not to do it.  I had a Nike + iPod which I calibrated using a treadmill (which much later I learned is not a good idea).  Well, I started running long distances because Lance Armstrong would tell me I was doing great at the end of a run!  I found I could run 10 miles, then 11, then 13!  I thought I was invincible!  I thought I was running an 11 minute mile.  

Months later I bought a Garmin.  And discovered that I was running a 14 minute mile and that my distances on the Nike + were inflated by about 20%.  I was a couple weeks out from my first half-marathon and discovered that everything I thought was the truth wasn't.  So, I made an attitude adjustment and went to that half marathon to have fun.  And I did.  I had the best time.  Every single picture of me at that race, I have a big smile on my face.   I just had a great time.  

I did another half in October of 2007 and took 5 minutes off my time.  I enjoyed that one too.

In April 2008, I decided on a Friday to do a half marathon on that Sunday.  I was ready because I was training for a full marathon.  I had the experience of coming in last in a race.  It is not really an experience I would highly recommend.  It left me with some fears about doing that again.  Ironically, it was my best time ever for a half-mary.

In June, I ran the Mayor's Marathon in Anchorage, Alaska. It was a great experience.  My worst time so far for 13.1 miles.  I needed to walk about half of it.  It was fabulous to have that experience though.

So, now.... I am a week away from the P.F. Chang's in Phoenix.  My training has been side-tracked by injuries and laziness.  I am sick of running.  I want to do something else on my weekends other than my "long run" which consumes a whole day.  I started out good in the fall, but as the length of the runs increased, I really lost my motivation.  

I have Piriformis Syndrome which causes sciatica.  It is quite painful.  When I run, I feel like there is ground glass in my left hip socket.  It is not pleasant.  My back is very painful too.  

I sketched out a training plan here in late November or early December.  I have kept to my plans for the long runs.  But I have probably averaged 1 day of running during the week. I just have not trained.

I HATE HATE HATE to not follow through and not make good on something I committed to do.  I will go to the race and I will do the best I can, but I will know that I could have done better if I had had the discipline that it takes to train for a race.

Sorry to keep whining about this.  I wrote all this to try to work through this process.  If you have read all of it - thanks.  And thanks always for the wonderful words of encouragement you share.  You guys and gals truly inspire me.  

Ready or not...

I am going to Phoenix in 9 days.  

I just have to do some mental adjusting.

I am really afraid.

I have not trained adequately.

I have gained weight.

I am slow on a good day.

I talked to Javamom today and she was so encouraging.   I can walk - there are people who walk this race.  

My plan is (at this moment), to walk the first 6 miles and then start running.  I don't want to start running and run out of steam half way, so I will walk and then run.  Or just walk.

I still have not got my wardrobe figured out which shows you the extent of my lack of preparation!  

I am excited about going to Phoenix and meeting Lisa and whoever else I may meet.  

I just have to wrap my mind around the fact that my training didn't go well and that I have been injured for months.  

The trick is to stop obsessing about myself!  

Athena

This post is probably going to be a rant, so be forewarned:

My goals for this year is to run ONE half-marathon and TWO triathlons.  My half-marathon is in 2 weeks.  I am not ready for it, but I guess I can survive it.  And then I have no more long runs to do.  And right now I am happy about that.  

I usually do a sprint tri every summer.  I was considering doing an Olympic since I am eliminating the long distance running.  So, I looked at a local tri with a good reputation and it was there that I discovered this new (to me) concept:

ATHENA.

Now, granted, Athena sounds a lot better than Clydesdale, but really.  

I have weighed 150 lbs. or under at various times in my life.  When I do, people ask me if I am sick.  My ribs show through SWEATERS.  I wear a size 8.  

When I weigh considerably more than 150 (as I do now) people tell me I look fit.  I wear a size 12.  Even my physical therapist and my physician tell me I am fit.  My physician told me when I weighed 205 lbs. (years ago, I don't weigh anything near that now) that I had less fat on me than some folks who weigh 130 lbs.  

What about if you are a woman who is 6' tall and you weigh 150?  Your BMI would be 20.3 - hardly "fat".  Should there be a special class for that?  

It just sounds arbitrary and awful to me.  There are some very fit people out there who do not fit the stereotype of an "athlete."  But they are healthy.

I guess I am a little bit upset that I gained 4 lbs. over the gluttonous holidays.  And developed some bad habits I am struggling to ditch.  I usually try to not weigh every day and not be obsessed with the scale, but when my pants start being tight, I do take a gander at the scale and today was one of those days.

My fitness has been a struggle since last May.  I would say it is because of the piriformis syndrome - which really is killer, but I am not sure that is really what it is.  I guess if I wasn't in gruesome pain when I ran I would have a better attitude about it.  

OK, that's enough out of this 

ATHENA!